OnPoint by Keith Ng

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OnPoint: Cooked goose, chicken, etc.

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  • Craig Ranapia,

    I thought Debs would be all for the Press Council - industry self-regulation and all that. But snark aside, I have to note the irony of Fairfax and the__ Herald__ -- not exactly the gold standard of truth, justice and basic statistical literacy and numeracy - being on the Press Council, but it's a little rich of Coddington to complain about scrutiny and criticism of her work.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    (But wait, is that setting up a straw man or a bait-and-switch? Debaters - help me!)

    Try c) all of the above. And did a blogger once touch Debs in a naughty place - she seems to use the b-word with a level of contempt most of us reserve for kiddie-fiddlers, Paris Hilton and Mercury Energy. :)

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    I was actually a ticking timebomb, with "Deborah Coddington" emblazoned on my left buttock. (Actually, the "ton" is carried over to the right one. Let's just say I won't be going back to *that* tattoo parlor again.)

    So that would be CODDING * TON, yes?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • Michael Stevens,

    So you are the REAL Manchurain Candidate?!?

    I always suspected...


    But you know, Debs is likely to treat this as fact Keith, given her way with reporting.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 230 posts Report Reply

  • Charles Mabbett,

    It's funny you mention the dead chicken analogy because I've been drawing a parallel between rattling the skeleton of 'Asian crime' and the Monty Python Dead Parrot routine.

    Since Nov 2006 • 236 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    For fifteen years, I was a sleeper agent. Russell would monitor my progress while my programming lay dormant.

    That got so boring. Couldn't you have rebelled or something?

    Unbeknowest to my friends and family, I was actually a ticking timebomb, with "Deborah Coddington" emblazoned on my left buttock. (Actually, the "ton" is carried over to the right one. Let's just say I won't be going back to *that* tattoo parlor again.)

    Do you know how hard to was to find a tattooist who'd tattoo a seven-year-old's butt? You can't afford to be picky in such cases.

    I was activated in 2005, having built a cover story as a "student journalist". For the past two years, I've been waiting for my chance to strike, and now I have.

    Excellent ... unfortunately, the Mok sleeper appears to have re-written its own programming and gone rogue. I can offer no warranty as to its future conduct.

    And now, Ng, I must trigger the shutdown routine. It gives me no pleasure, but the mission is now complete and I cannot risk an armed AsianBot falling into the hands of the enemy.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Beard,

    Since when did North & South and the Herald become so stiflingly Politically Correct? They obviously only publish Coddington's writing to maintain some trendy reverse-discrimination system in favour of those with severe mental illness. Just a couple of Debs' columns a year would easily maintain their quota for paranoid delusion, congenital innumeracy, delusions of grandeur and hallucinatory disregard for reality.

    It is, quite literally, Political Correctness Gone Mad.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1040 posts Report Reply

  • Juha Saarinen,

    What's wrong with just publishing good journalism now? You know, the opposite of Coddingtonswallop.

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report Reply

  • Heather Gaye,

    You know, the opposite of Coddingtonswallop.

    Ng-candescent? 8-)

    Morningside • Since Nov 2006 • 533 posts Report Reply

  • Mike Graham,

    Is it time to make a complaint to the Press Council about the latest HoS article re its selective quoting, and the breaking of the embargo? Any volunteers?!

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 206 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    You know, the opposite of Coddingtonswallop.

    Ng-candescent? 8-)

    I'd've stood up and applauded that, but I'd have looked like a complete twat.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Ng-candescent.

    Brilliant! But may I nounarise* it slightly to match coddingtonswallop - ie, ng-candescence.

    * Feel free to use this yourselves sometime.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Stephen Judd,

    Andrew, that hurtified.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 3122 posts Report Reply

  • andrew llewellyn,

    I feel suitably chasted.

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report Reply

  • Ben Austin,

    Keith, all this time I thought you had been a partisan for Truth at the Saliant. Turns out you were just another russelbot.

    For shame

    Oh and what is Stephen's prize for his C0d****** word of the year comment? He surely deserves an autographed N&S, perhaps inscribed with a gold leaf "LOLOLOLOLOL@Debs<3Yurediting!" legend on the inside page.

    London • Since Nov 2006 • 1027 posts Report Reply

  • Juha Saarinen,

    Oh, errm... why would you put dead chickens in rice pots? Sorry, had to ask.

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report Reply

  • B Jones,

    To cook them? It's a lot more humane that putting live ones in, for a start.

    Or maybe the chicken doesn't know it's already dead and is trying to get a feed itself.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 976 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Is it time to make a complaint to the Press Council about the latest HoS article re its selective quoting, and the breaking of the embargo? Any volunteers?!

    I'd be more likely to complain to the Press Council if the Herald on Sunday wasn't a reliable source of long drop arse-wipe. Its the News of the World without the intellectual rigour, professional excellence and elegant prose.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Juha Saarinen,

    Zombie Claypot Chicken?

    I like that.

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report Reply

  • Keith Ng,

    I have to note the irony of Fairfax and the Herald -- not exactly the gold standard of truth, justice and basic statistical literacy and numeracy - being on the Press Council...

    If you take away Fairfax and the Herald's APN group (which also owns the Listener), then you don't have much to work with...

    And Juha - the chicken is cooked by the steam, and the rice is made tasty by the chicken. Everyone's a winner! Except the chicken.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 543 posts Report Reply

  • Paul Rowe,

    Andrew, that hurtified.

    Stephen , what's the problem? Nounerise is a perfectly cromulent word

    Lake Roxburgh, Central Ot… • Since Nov 2006 • 574 posts Report Reply

  • Rich of Observationz,

    Zombie Claypot Chicken?

    I'm sure I read something in the Listner warning about the dangers of undead food?

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    If you take away Fairfax and the Herald's APN group (which also owns the Listener), then you don't have much to work with...

    True enough, but it still feels like finding out your teenage daughter has Paris Hilton as a mentor. :)

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Juha Saarinen,

    Hmmm... sounds primitive. I'll stick with Hainan ji fan, thanks. :)

    Oh, and Beggar's Chicken... had it cooked in the ground, in clay and herbs, in Johor Bahru.

    Aggh. Hungry again.

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report Reply

  • WH,

    There's an apt Chinese idiom: 死雞撐飯蓋. That's: "dead chicken trying to open the rice-pot lid".

    Its probably for the best. If Deborah was the pot she would call the chicken black.

    Since Nov 2006 • 797 posts Report Reply

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