Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Gay, but really not happy

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  • Craig Ranapia,

    3410 wrote:
    When I dealt with them "awash in production money" is exactly what they were.

    But not so flush they could could afford to sustain too many debacles like 'The Point' or that awful Water Rats clone that got balled up from one end to the other, I suspect. On one level, I feel some sympathy with the argument that TVNZ is held up to a surreal standard of success for television drama/comedy that not even the often cited BBC/ABC can live up to - after all, we never see the misfires, flops or projects that died in the womb at considerable expense. OTOH, you can't call yourself a 'public service broadcaster' when you've got the begging bowl out in Wellington than tell everyone else to bugger off once you've cashed the cheque.

    I'm buggered if I can figure out what Steve Maharey means by 'public service boradcasting' beyond the usual unexceptional, and meaningless, platitutdes about 'national identity' (which is?) 'seeing our own stories' (channel dedicated to 24/7 Shortland Street Re-runs, Steve?) etc. If you can translate it into English, 3410, you'll have my eternal gratitude.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report

  • uroskin,

    Juxtapositions rule!
    My 2c: call the guinea pigs Tony and Holden and replace the gay show with favourite gay YouTube videos (it works for AlJazeera's The Listening post)

    Waiheke Island • Since Feb 2007 • 178 posts Report

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Hadyn:

    Heh... Now here's a new essay question.

    1) Guinea-pig-friendly programming on TV should be much better. (There should be some, for a start.)

    2) You can't call a gay male 'Princess' - at least not if you want a second date, and he's already told you to call him 'Sir'.

    Discuss - and show your working.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report

  • andrew llewellyn,

    (There should be some, for a start.)

    Ah... for the good old pre-charter days...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tales_of_the_Riverbank

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report

  • Matty Smith,

    I'm sorry Andrew, Tales of the Riverbank clearly trivialises Hamsters. The community feels the need for something more... ...hard hitting.

    Wellington • Since Mar 2007 • 13 posts Report

  • Hadyn Green,

    @ Matty: You want hard hitting? Might I suggest a brilliant little film written here in Godzone (by some genius or other) and made in Eng-a-lund.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report

  • Andrew Paul Wood,

    That's marginalising the gay guineapigs - they have serious issues that are not being addressed, least of all by TVNZ.

    Christchurch • Since Jan 2007 • 175 posts Report

  • andrew llewellyn,

    There ya go Hadyn, the sequel HAS to be about Guinea Pigs!

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report

  • Andrew Paul Wood,

    Do you have any idea how difficult it is to put little leather chaps, harnass and false eyelashes on a guineapig? And then heard them en masse like lemmings down Queen St, AND THEN throw a massive dance party?

    Christchurch • Since Jan 2007 • 175 posts Report

  • Nobody Important,

    I used to enjoy the original Queer Nation, but got real bored real quick with the two follow up shows - both dumber than the previous one. I mean, lesbian puppets? FFS! My guess is that each time a series was commisioned the white PC hetero males at TVNZ who commissioned it were then brow beaten by others claiming the show was a joke and they should be given the chance to make NZ's definitive gay show.

    Anyway, since no-one has pointed it out already .... does TVNZ feel at all STUPID for not screening the L Word earlier? It was a great show but relegated to 11.30pm on a Monday night on TV2 cos, y'now, it was about [lesbians]. Can't have that screening any time reasonable, can we?

    At least not until Prime came along and showed some ... er ... balls. Going great guns on Prime I gather, I'm looking forward to tuning in when they screen the new series (currently repeating the TV2 series').

    expat • Since Mar 2007 • 319 posts Report

  • Andrew Paul Wood,

    I thought we might possibly invite Richard Gere to open the next Hero Guineapig Parade. Do you think TVNZ would be interested?

    Anyway, Kiwifruits was to NZ Gaydom what Frontseat is to NZ art - an utter bloody disgrace.

    Christchurch • Since Jan 2007 • 175 posts Report

  • andrew llewellyn,

    Do you have any idea how difficult it is to put little leather chaps, harnass and false eyelashes on a guineapig?

    Um... no! (Smiles politely).

    Since Nov 2006 • 2075 posts Report

  • Juha Saarinen,

    "Can you imagine Maori tolerating a "Maori programme" whose format was ordained by pakeha TV executives, was produced by a pakeha-run company, and was focused (to an extent that's almost grim in itself) on the lighter side of being Maori?"

    Yeah, I can actually, and also a programme on the same theme made by Maori. Well, the ordaining thing maybe not. Really depends on who makes the programme though. If that's not on, we'd have to weed out all the gays involved in straight programming and where would we be then?

    It's really only for shows like "One man and his dog" where you need... errm, special talent.

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report

  • Juha Saarinen,

    Oh, and Hard News: Gay made me think of Hard Gay for some reason. Jonathan Woss looks hot in that!

    Since Nov 2006 • 529 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    Do you have any idea how difficult it is to put little leather chaps, harnass and false eyelashes on a guineapig? And then heard them en masse like lemmings down Queen St, AND THEN throw a massive dance party?

    In my experience, guinea pigs are rubbish at dance parties. Show them a strobe and they just freeze for the rest of the evening. And every now and then, one of the little buggers will die of fright. Then the cops get involved and all the fun goes out of it.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • the E,

    Charter programming has to fulfil the following 10 objectives:

    1. Programming across all genres that informs, educates and entertains.

    2. Programming that serves varied interests and informational needs and age groups within New Zealand society, including tastes and interests not generally catered for by other national television broadcasters.

    3. Programming that contributes towards intellectural, scientific and cultural development, promotes informed and many-sided debate and stimulates critical thought, thereby enhancing opportunities for citizens to participate in community, national and international life.

    4. Programmes that reflect the regions to the nation as a whole.

    5. New Zealand films, drama, comedy and documentary programmes.

    6. Programmes about New Zealand’s history and heritage, and natural environment.

    7. Programmmes that serve the interests and informational needs of Maori audiences, including programmes promoting the Maori language and programmes addressing Maori history, culture and current issues.

    8. New Zealand and international programmes that provide for the informational, entertainment and educational needs of children and young people and allow for the participation of children and young people.

    9. Programmes that encourage and support the arts, including progammes featuring New Zealand and international artists and arts companies.

    10. and programming of an educational nature that support learning and the personal development of New Zealanders.

    Hmmm... I have to say that I, for one, do not feel that our state broadcaster lives up to or fulfils its Charter obligations.

    How about number 9? This is 10% of the Charter's mission, and I don't know of ANY NZ arts programmes... except Frontseat of course which was recently demoted to some ridiculously inaccessible timeslot.

    How is the Charter measured? Who is it accountable to?

    wellington • Since Jan 2007 • 42 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    How about number 9? This is 10% of the Charter's mission, and I don't know of ANY NZ arts programmes... except Frontseat of course which was recently demoted to some ridiculously inaccessible timeslot.

    Doesn't matter if you've got a PVR, of course. We tend to make Frontseat mid-evening viewing some time in the days after it screens.

    But I am given to understand that some older viewers are much keener on the morning slot than they were on staying up late on Sundays. Matter of fact, I used to struggle with that sometimes ...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • Glenn Sims,

    My guess is that each time a series was commisioned the white PC hetero males at TVNZ who commissioned it were then brow beaten by others claiming the show was a joke and they should be given the chance to make NZ's definitive gay show.

    It really isn't anyone's business but you might be suprised to learn that two of "PC hetero males" who commissioned the new show were actually gay.

    I do think however that there is more to the latter part of your statement than meets the eye. Anyone remember the symposium that determined the fate of Queer Nation? Some people have very short memories.

    Auckland • Since Mar 2007 • 4 posts Report

  • Craig Ranapia,

    Do you have any idea how difficult it is to put little leather chaps, harnass and false eyelashes on a guineapig?

    It's got to be easier than getting a three year old, up, dressed, through the bathroom, fed and watered, reunited with 'Golly (don't ask) and person-handled into a car seat... all by 6.45am. And then the fun really begins...

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report

  • the E,

    some older viewers are much keener on the morning slot than they were on staying up late on Sundays. Matter of fact, I used to struggle with that sometimes ...

    Oh yes indeed so did I.

    You can also download episodes from the TVNZ web site after they've been broadcast.

    OK so we have Frontseat for half an hour every week - for the duration of its season. With approximately 266 broadcast hours on TV1 & TV2 every day of the year (based on roughly 19 viewing hours per day, not counting BBC World or whatever is broadcast 1am - 6am), you could say that

    "9. Programmes that encourage and support the arts, including progammes featuring New Zealand and international artists and arts companies."

    is a Charter mandate fulfilled by the State Broadcaster (TVNZ) (via FrontSeat) 0.188% of the time during the show's season, and 0% of the time when Frontseat is not on.


    (I wonder how well represented gay artists feel by the Charter!!)

    wellington • Since Jan 2007 • 42 posts Report

  • Andrew Paul Wood,

    Really depends on who makes the programme though. If that's not on, we'd have to weed out all the gays involved in straight programming and where would we be then?

    You have seen A Game of Two Halves I take it?

    Christchurch • Since Jan 2007 • 175 posts Report

  • Andrew Paul Wood,

    Actually, scratch that - there's a decidedly Brokeback Mountain subtext going on there.

    Christchurch • Since Jan 2007 • 175 posts Report

  • Hadyn Green,

    You have seen A Game of Two Halves I take it?...
    Actually, scratch that - there's a decidedly Brokeback Mountain subtext going on there.

    No there isn't. Quite the opposite. Read this.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report

  • Paul Williams,

    Craig Ranapia said:

    __Do you have any idea how difficult it is to put little leather chaps, harnass and false eyelashes on a guineapig?__

    It's got to be easier than getting a three year old, up, dressed, through the bathroom, fed and watered, reunited with 'Golly (don't ask) and person-handled into a car seat... all by 6.45am. And then the fun really begins...

    6.45am? OMG, we struggle to make 7.45am - personally, I'd have better luck with the chaps and eyelashes than the 6.45am deadline.

    Sydney • Since Nov 2006 • 2273 posts Report

  • Kyle Matthews,

    And the guinea pig's name was ... Fluffy ....

    Years of stalking RB secretly ends when I accidentally let the guinea pig's name slip. Dammit.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report

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