Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: Everyone's a critic

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  • bronwyn,

    I always become a bit despondent when someone suggests going to Monsoon Poon, because I am certain that:

    a) the food will be ok, but I could probably get something better for less elsewhere
    b) given that that person has chosen it, I suspect they aren't very exciting and hence conversation may not be that exciting either
    c) I'll have to spend a lot of the night trying not to rant about all the racist, sorry "ironic", sayings all over the place.

    tamaki makaurau • Since Nov 2006 • 86 posts Report

  • Glenn Pearce,

    Auckland • Since Feb 2007 • 504 posts Report

  • Ross Mason,

    After sitting at our table for a while it became apparent that we were being stared at. It was quite obvious and they weren't being subtle!

    It's quite obvious from down here. They only served Wellingtonians. You guys get a "malling" - we have manners.

    :-)

    Upper Hutt • Since Jun 2007 • 1590 posts Report

  • Sacha,

    Basil and Sybil have moved on

    Thank you for the warning. Delicious has to be the worst service I've ever experienced (though thankfully we left before they got a chance to throw us out). Why someone like that feels compelled to pollute the hospitality industry is beyond me.

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report

  • barnaclebarnes,

    restaurant/cafe reviews. That was my idea way back when I registered devour.co.nz. It never came to anything - I'm better at eating food, not writing about it...

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 90 posts Report

  • Robbie Siataga,

    Shot Russell... reckon you and Graham can critique the lack of ideas and direction to move with the times from Brendan Smyth and his sycophants at NZ on Air ?

    And what's up with their conspicuous lack of presence this music month ?... Figure if they hide in the trenches, the grim reaper of budget cuts and superfluous personell will overlook them ?

    Nothing to fear, Death comes to us all, embrace it. It's only a new beginning...in the private sector. If your karma is in credit you'll reincarnate to something greater if not, then...the results speak for themselves.

    Since Feb 2010 • 259 posts Report

  • Andre,

    Some cafes pride themselves on making their customers feel subservient and others are rude. Not many could come close to Rod Seymour from the Puhoi Pub. I once saw a yuppie woman from Parnell demand a swizzly stick for her drink from him. He took out his false teeth and dipped them in her glass saying "there's your swizzle stick love". http://www.puhoi.com/history/rod-seymour/rod-seymour.htm

    New Zealand • Since May 2009 • 371 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    Shot Russell... reckon you and Graham can critique the lack of ideas and direction to move with the times from Brendan Smyth and his sycophants at NZ on Air ?

    I'll be looking at Duncan Grieve's excellent Real Groove story on the NZ On Air music funding system, if that's what you mean. Unlike most critics of the system, Duncan doesn't take the easy option of convincing himself that it's all one person's fault.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • Sacha,

    devour.co.nz

    could be a localised review AR app though..

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report

  • Julian Melville,

    Yep, went to Monsoon Poon for a birthday dinner a little while after it opened, with a (well behaved) 1 year old kid. Sitting right next to the maître d's spot at the front there. After the entrees happened, nothing... for half an hour, then 45 minutes, and on it went. The Beer Lao was past it's use-by date, and so was the replacement. They kept telling us our meals were just being finished off, which is a hilarious thing to say when you can see exactly what's being prepared in the kitchen, and it's not your order. As we got up to leave in disgust they suddenly appeared with the (distinctly average) meal. An email to the manager got the corporate equivalent of "yeah bummer, we're still sorting some teething troubles out" in reply. So top 50, my ass.

    All up, the highlight of the evening was running into Billy Connolly walking past outside as we wandered the small son up and down outside for the umpteenth time. That was alright :)

    Auckland • Since Dec 2006 • 200 posts Report

  • recordari,

    The Grove. Perhaps a once every three year thing, or when you turn 40 or something, as was one of the most expensive restaurant dinners I can remember, but was it worth it? And how.

    The quail entrée was dangerously good, but the highlight was the macadamia oiled beans. Simple, but perfect.

    They seem to manage exuberant, and enthusiastic clientèle (was that enough euphemisms?) with calm professionalism and good humour.

    The reviews on their website seem to agree, and the Quail ballotine is described in more detail. They don't really need the publicity, but hey, props where due and all that.

    Now shall I buy that 5.1 HDMI home theatre, as a little birdie recommended somewhere, or go to The Grove for dinner again?

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    Now shall I buy that 5.1 HDMI home theatre, as a little birdie recommended somewhere, or go to The Grove for dinner again?

    If you go for the former, the Onkyo receivers at JB Hi-Fi are extremely good value.

    Hey, now I'm reviewing audio equipment on my blog! What next!?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • Morgan Nichol,

    Basil and Sybil have moved on

    Am I the only one tempted to go there and fuck with them, small camera rolling discreetly, ready to catch the hilarity?

    Auckland CBD • Since Nov 2006 • 314 posts Report

  • Sacha,

    Splendid idea

    Ak • Since May 2008 • 19745 posts Report

  • Jackie Clark,

    I was looking at the list and was a bit suprised to see I'd only been to about 10 of the top 50. Soul is always a favourite - the service is outstanding and the food is always top drawer. They do this deconstructed prawn cocktail thingie which defies description. And a couple of my friends and I always go to SPQR. Last time was a couple of weeks ago and they had a splendid lunch special on - $27 each for a couple of starter size mains. Vey nice. And I do like the servers there. Very friendly, not at all up themselves and unobsequious when "famous" people are around.

    Mt Eden, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 3136 posts Report

  • recordari,

    If you go for the former, the Onkyo receivers at JB Hi-Fi are extremely good value.

    Thanks. Was considering the Onkyo. They seem to make some nice gear at not too ridiculous prices. But those beans!!

    AUCKLAND • Since Dec 2009 • 2607 posts Report

  • Lyndon Hood,

    My as-a-subject interest in reviews currently exends to Improv [I believe I'm in the final for the Micetro impro comp on Sunday BTW].

    ... when it actually doesn't matter if they give away all the jokes, but regular demands for 'proof' that we're improvising can cause annoyance.


    Have previously attempt to use my words about reviewing on this PA thread, which is otherwise useful.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1115 posts Report

  • Simon Wilson,

    Very glad to see you approve of our choice of The Grove as supreme winner in the Metro Restaurant of the Year Awards, Russell. We sent 5 judges in before we made that decision, and many of the other restaurants in our Top 50 (and some that just missed the cut) were visited 3 or 4 times.

    But it's a tricky business, evalutating restaurants, and not just because the world is full of experts. There's a great deal to be said for the wisdom of crowds - as long as it is a crowd. I don't believe any of the NZ sites that carry customer responses can justifiably claim they get enough responses for that.

    Delicious used to be famous for the rudeness of its service, agreed, but it was also famous for the quality of its food. The fact it has remained full night after night, year after year, under the previous owners and the current ones, suggests there is a very large crowd indeed of people who have long loved the place.

    BTW, a bit weird of you to bang on and on about Delicious, which has been in Geoffrey Chunn's hands for coming up to two years now.

    As for Monsoon Poon, it's one of many restaurants in our Top 50 that do not aspire to knock The Grove from its perch, but which nevertheless, in our view, provide an outstanding example of a particular restaurant experience. You might call it good times,
    I suppose, and in the case of M Poon, there's also that important factor of this being a good place to take a family. We think the food and service and style of the place are very good, whatever may have been the case in the past, and we've made all of this plain in our booklet. I ate there again last night, in fact, when it was packed with people who all seemed to be having a great time.

    But yes, for all that, being a critic is about more than reporting on popularity. I like to think one of the jobs of a critic is to reveal the basis of their criticism, so readers can decide whether they share those values and therefore whether they are likely to agree with the judgment. Did we do that with our Restaurant of the Year report? I hope so.

    Simon Wilson, Food Editor, Metro

    Since Mar 2007 • 9 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    Thanks for joining in, Simon.

    Delicious used to be famous for the rudeness of its service, agreed, but it was also famous for the quality of its food.

    Yes, the food was and is good, but I think screaming at customers, throwing them out mid-meal and breaking plates goes a bit beyond "rudeness". It seemed fairly insane to me.

    BTW, a bit weird of you to bang on and on about Delicious, which has been in Geoffrey Chunn's hands for coming up to two years now.

    One of our topics is citizen reviews and I think those couple of pages of Dineout are perhaps the most remarkable example of the phenomenon. As I noted, no one else was warning diners they might have their evening ruined by lunatic behaviour. And I was at pains to emphasise (twice) that it was a historical matter and nothing to do with the current owners.

    You might call it good times, I suppose, and in the case of M Poon, there's also that important factor of this being a good place to take a family. We think the food and service and style of the place are very good, whatever may have been the case in the past, and we've made all of this plain in our booklet.

    Fair enough. It is a little while since I last dined there -- for obvious reasons (although even when I did, people were singing its praises). Perhaps they've fixed that desperate curry. I just can't help but think there are so many, more humble, places in Auckland where you'd find much better food in the same styles, albeit not mashed together.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    Ah. Just remembered Tze Ming's lacerating review of Monsoon Poon from 2006.

    And the follow-up on its weird, racist website ('bloody iriot' and 'Sum Yung Gy').

    Let's just say the place didn't win my affection in any way at all.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • Robbie Siataga,

    I'll be looking at Duncan Grieve's excellent Real Groove story on the NZ On Air music funding system, if that's what you mean. Unlike most critics of the system, Duncan doesn't take the easy option of convincing himself that it's all one person's fault.

    So you'll be critiqueing the critic ?... sounds a bit soft ?

    Regarding the easy option you mention. The buck has to stop somewhere and for most, it's with the guy who has veto power at the top.

    BTW Duncan Grieve's blogging his interviews which might be more appropriate for you to comment on here, given it's within the same media delivery system.

    The Mint Chick guy aint sayin nuthin slick to this oilcan.
    http://www.realgroove.co.nz/Blog.aspx?id=367


    The Mark Kneebone one is rather full of shit.
    http://www.realgroove.co.nz/Blog.aspx?id=368

    Mostly cos he reckons NZoA has the mandate to write their own script then later on states Brendan's hands are tied in that he doesn't have the mandate...so which is it ?

    and sure you could say NZ on Air means air everywhere but i thought the mandate was for getting NZ music on our air, not Oz air ?

    so basically he's a lobbyist for his own artists working with Brendan to pimp his own shit and for what ? a percentage of funding ?

    Hardly looks like a level playing field for a band /artist/label giving it a crack on their own. Isn't the criteria supposed to be purely on musical merit not the say so of mercenary industry consultants with vested interests ?

    Isnt that why the applications are essentially blind CD's with no promo material, so your judgment isn't coloured by who the band is or who they know ?

    nah sorry Russell. I don't think it's possible to re vamp NZoA video and music funding for the internet age if Brendans' there. If it could have, he would have done it by now but i guess it's not in his or his mates best interests to.

    It's that whole defintion of an idiot thing. Doing the same things and expecting a different result.

    Since Feb 2010 • 259 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    So you'll be critiqueing the critic ?... sounds a bit soft ?

    Regarding the easy option you mention. The buck has to stop somewhere and for most, it's with the guy who has veto power at the top.

    It stops with the people who write the relevant part of the Broadcasting Act, which dictates what the Broadcasting Commission (aka NZ On Air) can do.

    Isn't the criteria supposed to be purely on musical merit not the say so of mercenary industry consultants with vested interests ?

    Arrrggh! No! For better or worse, that's precisely not what the Act says.

    Anyway, save it all up for tomorrow.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

  • Simon Grigg,

    I just can't help but think there are so many, more humble, places in Auckland where you'd find much better food in the same styles, albeit not mashed together

    A friend who travels widely in Asia and is a bit of a foodie sent me a txt last year from Auckland's Monsoon Poon saying that they had an incredible range of Pan Asian cuisines and they had managed to do all of them incredibly badly.

    I've not been to the Auckland one but the Wellington branch was just gastronomically depressing and the service was absolutely shocking. Point at any one of those cuisines and I could name 20 places that I would rather visit.

    But then, despite the aspirations, and with the very rare exception, my rule of thumb has always been that Auckland does higher-end food very, very averagely and lower end food extraordinarily well.

    Just another klong... • Since Nov 2006 • 3284 posts Report

  • David Herkt,

    The Metro Restuarant Guide is just crying out for analysis. It is one of the crucial documents in Auckland social history - for none of the reasons the editors, its writers, or reviewers envisage.

    Year after year it is a record of pretensions that have little to do with food. it would be nice to have an immutable standard but too often the Metro Guide simply reflects the prejudices of people you wouldn't want to be - or dine with.

    I loved the years it was sending everyone to Birkenhead for fairly average meals at The Engine Room.

    It is the face of Auckland that entitles Wellingtonians to sneer.

    And I have always wondered how SPQR maintains its presence on the Metro List. Then it hit me. SPQR is truly 'The Emperor Has No Clothes' Moment of the Metro Guide.

    The Metro Guide is actually all about SPQR. It doesn't matter about the food. It is the context we're discussing. SPQR's food, if you could see it, and if eating it while being blasted by music appeals, is really really average. But, ah, the context of "success". the codings... That is what SPQR fulfills.

    And I'm afraid that is what the Metro Guide is all about. Forget food. What we are talking about is commodification of the dining experience for Auckland's Chai-Latte Belt, for the sort of people who go to Body Tech for 'fitness'

    I suppose, really, the 'Metro readership'. Note those quotes. But the crucial question is, does anyone anymore?

    Auckland • Since Sep 2007 • 53 posts Report

  • Russell Brown,

    I loved the years it was sending everyone to Birkenhead for fairly average meals at The Engine Room.

    Really? I kept meaning to go, but I could never get a booking. It's named Best Local Bistro again, btw.

    Your theory could explain the continuing elevation of Soto, which, as I noted, is nice enough but doesn't scream better than any other Asian restaurant in Auckland to me.

    I suppose, really, the 'Metro readership'. Note those quotes. But the crucial question is, does anyone anymore? And if we rated Metro by its own standards, would it?

    Ooh. A little harsh. I think Metro has run some very good stories over the past two years, especially those by Donna Chisholm and Simon.

    And of course, our own Damian Christie has his year-in-the-making story about drug dealers in the current issue.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report

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