Hard News by Russell Brown

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Hard News: About a Cat

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  • Kyle Matthews,

    I used to have a pair of Siamese cats, but given that I moved away to university, they really became my parents. And when Dad moved down to Wellington to pursue career options while Mum stayed in Auckland to do her Masters, the cats went down south and moved into one half of a split unit that my parents hired from Dad's work, while they figured out where they wanted to buy in Wellington.

    That was fine until summer. The other half of the unit was hired by a cop who'd made the career move from Christchurch, and whose family followed him come summer, including one cat.

    I came home from university, and met a fellow Otago student who lived next door, newly home from the holidays. We used to go to SJS at Victoria together to get our Emergency Unemployment Benefit, she's now gainfully employed as a TV reporter.

    Anyway, it would be fair to say that my male cat, Yoni, did not get on with the neighbour's cat. There was a lot of fighting, but worse, there was that growling at five paces from under the house when you couldn't get at either one and all they did was keep everyone awake. Siamese yowl like almost nothing you've ever heard.

    One night my cat was on one side of the neighbour's cat door, their cat was on the other, and my fellow student was sleeping on the lounge floor. She got so sick of the hissing and noise that they were making at each other that she picked up one of her shoes and threw it at the cats, catching the ranchslider window and shattering the pane, which promptly fell to pieces everywhere. Neither cat was very popular at the neighbour's house for a while after that.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Snowy,

    grrr @#*^! cats

    Wellington • Since Jan 2008 • 62 posts Report Reply

  • Snowy,

    nose-scratching, attention-stealing varmints!

    Wellington • Since Jan 2008 • 62 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    I used to have a pair of Siamese cats, but given that I moved away to university, they really became my parents.

    Teehee.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    I used to have a pair of Siamese cats, but given that I moved away to university, they really became my parents.

    Emma's wee note made me notice that this sentence makes more sense with an apostrophe in 'parents'.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • InternationalObserver,

    I hate cats. They make me sneeze.

    And even if I wasn't allergic to them I'd probably still hate them. I like dogs, but they stink. And they make me sneeze too.

    </not trolling>

    Since Jun 2007 • 909 posts Report Reply

  • Shep Cheyenne,

    I was going to put bells on a couple of neighbours cats to give tweedie birds in the garden a fighting chance.
    Overlooking the ownership issue (all pets are slaves after all) I stopped when I was told bells on cats is cruel due to their sensitive hearing - any truth to that?

    Since Oct 2007 • 927 posts Report Reply

  • Hamboy,

    The bells will only work for a short time. They learn to hunt with them.

    Christchurch • Since Dec 2006 • 162 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    The bells will only work for a short time. They learn to hunt with them.

    Now there's an image. A couple of cats beating some poor bird to death with a couple of bells. Maybe wrapped up in a sock? Cat mafia.

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Deborah,

    My daughter's cat arrived at our new home in Adelaide last week. She has no idea what she did to deserve eight weeks at reform school (a.k.a the cattery), followed by being crammed into a cat carrier and then subjected to two flights, interspersed with being poked and prodded by vets, but she has no intention of doing anything whatsoever to offend us ever again. She has been extraordinarily sweet and affectionate ever since she arrived.

    New Lynn • Since Nov 2006 • 1447 posts Report Reply

  • Peter Hunter,

    Yep, we put bells on our old trout of a moggy and on the ging-ger kitten but either they target deaf birds or somehow manage to stalk them on three legs while holding one paw over the bell to muffle it.

    Then, to make matters worse, Angel (the grumpy old trout) lost her collar complete with bell and cat flap magnet. So she has to follow the idjit Twitch when she wants to come IN the cat flap, or run her claws down the glass in the door until someones staggers over to let her in, their fillings vibrating at such a frequency to cause instant migranes!

    Wellington • Since Jan 2007 • 8 posts Report Reply

  • Shep Cheyenne,

    I often confuse issues of moggys with zimmer frames and here is one Fitting for the Baby Boomers & their hardley able toos

    http://www.stuff.co.nz/4357247a11.html

    Since Oct 2007 • 927 posts Report Reply

  • daleaway,

    Some smart cats roll in dirt to clog their bells.
    Check the state of your belled cat's apparatus, Peter...

    Since Jul 2007 • 198 posts Report Reply

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