Field Theory by Hadyn Green

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Field Theory: Those Jamaican Yams

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  • George Darroch,

    Result - 100 metres final
    1 Usain Bolt (Jam) 9.58secs (WR)
    2 Tyson Gay (USA) 9.71
    3 Asafa Powell (JAM) 9.84
    4 Daniel Bailey (ANT) 9.93
    5 Richard Thompson (TRI) 9.93
    6 Dwain Chambers (Gbr) 10.00
    7 Marc Burns (Tri) 10.00
    8 Darvis Patton (USA) 10.34.

    What I think is amazing, truly amazing, about the Bolt 9.58, is that Tyson Gay ran 9.71s. That time would have been the world record, any time in history before 16th August 2008. That says a huge amount about how fast that was.

    As others have noted, this was also the fastest field in history, one where you had to post a square 10 seconds not to finish last.

    I also have every confidence that Bolt is clean. You would think he simply has too much to lose, and now that the IOC and IAAF hold blood samples for later testing as new techniques are developed.

    He had only better watch out what chicken nuggets he eats. You never know what drugs they're putting in their feed.

    WLG • Since Nov 2006 • 2264 posts Report Reply

  • 3410,

    "if you could run that fast what would you do?" "What do you mean?" "Like you could just taunt a tiger and then run away"

    That would not be wise. As fast as Bolt is, tigers are still about twice as fast.

    Auckland • Since Jan 2007 • 2618 posts Report Reply

  • Allan Moyle,

    Great post...I'll be busy playing with all that maths from the Science of Sport. Who knew the 100m was analysed to that level ?.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 104 posts Report Reply

  • tussock,

    And an ordinary wild cheetah would cover over 200m in the same space of time, from a standing start. Fairly conservative estimate, 3 seconds to get up to top speed of around 26 m/s takes about 40m, then another 2 and a half seconds to finish the 100, and another 4 seconds for the next 100.

    I'm not sure they can sprint too close top speed for a full 200m though. IIRC it takes them about 300-400m to catch their prey (typically 20 m/s gazelles) with up to a 100m starting gap, so maybe they can. They're at least maintaining their speed advantage over the gazelles all the way.

    Wow. Olympic sprinters are half as fast as a cheetah. And I'm half as fast as them, easily doing 50m in 10 seconds.

    Since Nov 2006 • 611 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    So I got this from that reliable source of information, the internet.

    The Siberian Tiger can run up to 50 miles per hour over the snow if they want to. That's only 10 miles per hours slower than the cheetah

    50mph is roughly 22.4mps (metres per second). Bolt’s 100m was an average of 10.4mps. So yes, Tiger eats Bolt.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Kyle Matthews,

    So yes, Tiger eats Bolt.

    It's for these incredibly useful pieces of information that the internet was built :)

    Since Nov 2006 • 6243 posts Report Reply

  • Lyndon Hood,

    Terry Pratchett maintains there's an initial advantage while the quadruped gets those extra legs sort out.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1115 posts Report Reply

  • Tom Semmens,

    So yes, Tiger eats Bolt.

    Well just hold on a minute there!

    According to the IAAF the results were:

    Usain Bolt
    Tyson Gay
    Asafa Powel
    Daniel Bailey
    Richard Thompson
    Dwain Chambers
    Marc Burns
    Darvis Patton

    So the tiger would have, in fact, have eaten Darvis Patton.

    Over the past few weeks I've been listening to the two part BBC Radio documentary "Sport’s Greatest Cover Up". Anyone who listens to that would find it difficult to take any track and field result seriously, the first thought anyone has when they hear of some new freak smashing of a world record is "drug cheat".

    Does anyone, in their heart, really believe Usain Bolt is just a happy coming together of genes and starchy staples?

    It makes me feel sad for the honest athletes, because to me whole sports are hopelessly tainted with drugs. And after listening to the BBC doucmentaries, it seems utterly predictable that it is sports particularly popular in Europe - athletics and cycling - that are the most utterly compromised ones.

    Sevilla, Espana • Since Nov 2006 • 2217 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart,

    Terry Pratchett maintains there's an initial advantage while the quadruped gets those extra legs sort out.

    Humans will also win over really long distances. Which may just be because we're the only species dumb enough to invent the marathon, and also isn't much comfort when the tiger's already eaten you, but I guess it's something.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Megan Wegan,

    Humans will also win over really long distances. Which may just be because we're the only species dumb enough to invent the marathon, and also isn't much comfort when the tiger's already eaten you, but I guess it's something.

    Well, it probably should be to Mr Bolt, because by the time the tiger has eaten Messrs Patton, Burns, Chambers Thompson, etc, he'll be long gone.

    Welly • Since Jul 2008 • 1275 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    I'm sure there's some hugely important reason for not allowing all professional athletes to dope themselves to the eyeballs with impunity, but I'm damned if I can think of what it is.

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • LegBreak,

    I'm sure there's some hugely important reason for not allowing all professional athletes to dope themselves to the eyeballs with impunity, but I'm damned if I can think of what it is.

    The track record of doped up athletes from the 70s and 80s making it to 2009 isn’t a strong one.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1162 posts Report Reply

  • Danielle,

    The track record of doped up athletes from the 70s and 80s making it to 2009 isn’t a strong one.

    But look at Keith Richards!

    Charo World. Cuchi-cuchi!… • Since Nov 2006 • 3828 posts Report Reply

  • LegBreak,

    Keith Richards.

    Living proof that mind altering drugs are much better for you than body altering ones.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1162 posts Report Reply

  • Stewart,

    You call that living?

    Te Ika A Maui - Whakatane… • Since Oct 2008 • 577 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    So the tiger would have, in fact, have eaten Darvis Patton.

    That's right, you only have to run faster than the halfling. I knew that had real-world applications.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    But look at Keith Richards!

    Isn't he also a three pack a day smoker? Wouldn't be in the least surprised if the cigarettes were extending his life in some weird form of Satanic homoeopathy.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

  • Stewart,

    Emma, I am not sure that world-record sprinting counts as the real world . It's not something that ever happens to me - does it happen to you?

    Te Ika A Maui - Whakatane… • Since Oct 2008 • 577 posts Report Reply

  • Stewart,

    And I suspect that Keith Richards stays alive purely to piss Mick off.

    Te Ika A Maui - Whakatane… • Since Oct 2008 • 577 posts Report Reply

  • Hadyn Green,

    I'm sure there's some hugely important reason for not allowing all professional athletes to dope themselves to the eyeballs with impunity, but I'm damned if I can think of what it is.

    That reminds me of a comic book (I can't remember the title, but someone here will, it's set in the DC universe and is one of those nice painted ones that came out early in the century)

    The story is told from the perspective of a non-superhero and at one point he laments how he misses the Olympics (discontinued after those with super powers could enter). That's kind of how I feel about the drug cheats.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2090 posts Report Reply

  • Emma Hart,

    Emma, I am not sure that world-record sprinting counts as the real world . It's not something that ever happens to me - does it happen to you?

    Dude, my base-line for comparison is role-playing. Let me add 'for very low values of real'.

    Christchurch • Since Nov 2006 • 4651 posts Report Reply

  • Rich Lock,

    So the tiger would have, in fact, have eaten Darvis Patton.

    Reminds me of an old, old joke.

    back in the mother countr… • Since Feb 2007 • 2728 posts Report Reply

  • Stewart,

    I think we should agree that 'real world' is what happens to oneself. Anything you personally are not involved with might not be 'real world'. So we all have our own real worlds.

    Seems fair enough in an infinite number of universes.

    Te Ika A Maui - Whakatane… • Since Oct 2008 • 577 posts Report Reply

  • Lucy Stewart,

    I think we should agree that 'real world' is what happens to oneself. Anything you personally are not involved with might not be 'real world'. So we all have our own real worlds.

    Seems fair enough in an infinite number of universes.

    There is also an apposite Pratchett quote here about everyone secretly believing a very specific version of the strong anthropogenic principle. (There is a Pratchett quote for *everything*.)

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 2105 posts Report Reply

  • Craig Ranapia,

    That reminds me of a comic book (I can't remember the title, but someone here will, it's set in the DC universe and is one of those nice painted ones that came out early in the century)

    The story is told from the perspective of a non-superhero and at one point he laments how he misses the Olympics (discontinued after those with super powers could enter). That's kind of how I feel about the drug cheats.

    I think you're actually thinking of Marvels, which is set in the other universe (and written by Kurt Busiek who went on to the equally fabulous 'revisionist' cape title Astro City), and getting it mixed up with DC's Kingdom Come (written by Mark Waid).

    Easily done, because they're both excellent -- the viewpoint character is a non-superhero 'everyman' -- and in both cases the fully painted artwork is by Alex Ross (who not only contributed to the stories of both Marvels and Kingdom Come, but co-created Astro City).

    I will now return to the Geek Cave and be very quiet.

    North Shore, Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 12370 posts Report Reply

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