Cracker by Damian Christie

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Cracker: Do real Afghans have walnuts on them?

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  • Rich of Observationz,

    Now that NZ is just another police state like the US and UK it means I can probably stop my half-hearted avoidance of US/UK products.

    So I guess I can buy that Jeep Wrangler I had my eye on with a good conscience.

    I'm still ripping off Sony-label music and videos rather than buying until the Japanese stop killing whales though.

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report Reply

  • Rich of Observationz,

    Hey David: unless you have some exotic 10G network, Cat5E works just as well as Cat6 and they have the cables in $2 stores for $2.
    (K Rd, anyway)

    Back in Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 5550 posts Report Reply

  • David Hamilton,

    Thanks for the tip Rich, yeah I got Cat5e from cables direct, but Dick Smith no longer sells Cat5e patch cables so my comparison would have fallen down. Haven't seen the $2 network cables around, I'll have to keep my eyes out. I agree Stephen that Dick Smith has its place, and pricespy is excellent, though I couldn't find network cables on there.

    I wonder if Sony has any whale song CD's, that would be fairly ironic.

    Hamiltron • Since Nov 2006 • 111 posts Report Reply

  • Gareth Ward,

    why did they only launch their sponsorship of Habitat for Humanity at the same time as the multi-media advertising campaign crowing about how great they are for making such a contribution? Oh that's right, because otherwise no-one would have known what an amazingly altruistic company Noel Leeming is.

    The weirdest thing was that it was actually after the crowing (in terms of exposure anyway)
    When those ads first started to run I actually looked into what "stunning social good" they were doing and could find absolutely zero mention - so we had ol Brokovich generically stating that here was a great social good company but nothing stated anywhere about what they were doing. Rather bungled media launch methinks...

    Auckland, NZ • Since Mar 2007 • 1727 posts Report Reply

  • Gareth Ward,

    This is the point at which I discovered I'd lost my weighted foam 'throwing at the telly' brick.

    And OH MAN I gotta get me one of those...



    oh, and good luck in Afghanistan etc etc

    Auckland, NZ • Since Mar 2007 • 1727 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    I hope I'm not derailing this thread from it's "where to get the best cables at the best prices" theme, but... :)

    he could do his famous line from that movie with the cold breath/ghost thing, only instead saying "I see... great deals on a fridge/freezer"

    I can't stand that little kid, Joel whatshisface (his only expression seems to be "poignant"), but I would love to see an ad along those lines...

    Ironically I've spent the last few weeks trying to convince workmates and friends that I'm NOT the voice of the new Noel Leemings ads (not the EB ones, obviously). I get myself into some states at times, but I don't think I've ever got so drunk as to wake up the next day not realising I've voiced a major television campaign.

    ...And I did see it pointed out somewhere else, but yes, also ironically, why would they pick Oliver Driver as the face of the new(ish) Buy NZ campaign when he's been the easy-to-pick voice of the friggin' Warehouse for the past year or so?

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • WH,

    I thought Pay it Forward was a reference to buying whiteware on credit.

    http://www.predatorylendingassociation.com/

    I am all about the habitat but Erin Brockovich looks nothing like Julia Roberts. Honestly if they had screened Nicky Watson in a toolbelt I wouldn't have been the wiser.

    Since Nov 2006 • 797 posts Report Reply

  • daleaway,

    We thought the voiceover was Jeremy Wells. But we've been wrong before ...

    Since Jul 2007 • 198 posts Report Reply

  • David Hamilton,

    Hamiltron • Since Nov 2006 • 111 posts Report Reply

  • daleaway,

    An interesting response from their CEO.

    I agree with the guy who offers NL kudos for having the courage to paint a big target on their backs .... because we'll certainly all be watching them now.

    And if they succeed in showing so much social responsibility that it makes that an aspect of the competitive commercial environment which their rivals have to match or better, then I'll be the first in the queue to support NL.

    Since Jul 2007 • 198 posts Report Reply

  • samuel walker,

    ...And I did see it pointed out somewhere else, but yes, also ironically, why would they pick Oliver Driver as the face of the new(ish) Buy NZ campaign when he's been the easy-to-pick voice of the friggin' Warehouse for the past year or so?

    didnt i see something about driver/TheWarehouse in sideswipe a few weeks ago?..........

    Reader Helen Dean suggested it was ironic that Oliver Driver was fronting the Government's Buy NZ Made TV campaign, while voicing the "Warehouse ads haranguing us to spend on all those cheap imports". Driver responds: "The Buy New Zealand Made campaign is not about vilifying importers or Kiwi companies that stock imported goods, it's about making an informed choice and checking out the available options. If you have the choice between two products of a similar price and quality and one of them is made in New Zealand, then buy the New Zealand one. The Warehouse is the largest seller of New Zealand music in the country, provides a marketplace for NZ goods and fully supports the Buy NZ Made campaign. As do I."

    although: is it a coincidence that over the past few weeks they seem to have been using a "voice-in" (stand in) for Mr Driver?

    Since Nov 2006 • 203 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    We thought the voiceover was Jeremy Wells. But we've been wrong before ...

    Yeah you're right, it is Jeremy. When I finally heard the bloody ads everyone had been accusing me of voicing I recognised it straight away. We have the same voice agent, and I've always told Jeremy that I'm being marketed as "sounds like Newsboy, only cheaper". Just wish I looked like him too... sigh.

    Re the comment by Noel Leeming's CEO on engaging "the world's toughest customer".

    this was a bold and scary step, because it will force us to continue to deliver on our service promise where we have got it right, but scary because we had better lift our game in any areas where we don't get it right - and quickly!

    Right, so Erin is going to spend her time overseeing the business practice of Noel Leeming? FFS, she didn't even come to NZ to film the ads, how is she supposed to have any clue about the company! I bet she's already spent the money and forgotten all about Noelle Lemmings from Kiwiland.

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    And while I'm here, on Driver's response:

    The Warehouse is the largest seller of New Zealand music in the country, provides a marketplace for NZ goods and fully supports the Buy NZ Made campaign. As do I.

    How disingenuous. As far as retailers go (which is what the Buy NZ Campaign is all about) could there be any single NZ retailer more responsible for our $2b trade deficit with China?

    If you have the choice between two products of a similar price and quality and one of them is made in New Zealand, then buy the New Zealand one

    Driver's right, this clearly couldn't apply to most of the Warehouse's stock. There's no way we could ever produce such shitty plastic crap for anything near the same price, not without adopting China's world-class labour and environmental conditions...

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • Russell Brown,

    The Warehouse is the largest seller of New Zealand music in the country, provides a marketplace for NZ goods and fully supports the Buy NZ Made campaign. As do I.

    Wouldn't "it's a gig" have done?

    Auckland • Since Nov 2006 • 22850 posts Report Reply

  • Damian Christie,

    Wouldn't "it's a gig" have done?

    Yeah, and as I said, the question is why would they pick Oliver, not why would he say yes. Surely it's up for the people at Buy NZ Made to justify their decision, not for him to rush to the defence of the Warehouse. He's just an actor, after all. I'd just as soon take medical advice from that guy from the Flying Doctors who used to do ads for Panadol.

    Actually sooner, because I've heard some of Driver's conspiracy theories before...

    Wellington • Since Nov 2006 • 1164 posts Report Reply

  • Sara Noble,

    RoO: Now I'm REALLY embarrassed... I actually did own a Jeep Wrangler - It had this terrible picture of an Indian chief on the side and was 4.0 litres! I have been thinking of ways to do environmental penance ever since. It was my midlife crisis car.

    You know how "they" say that a woman in her forties has less chance of repartnering than a Jumbo jet crashing into Madison Square Gardens? Well all ya gotta do is buy a Jeep Wrangler - Men of all ilks would go all misty and, gazing deeply into my eyes, breathe, "I r-e-a-l-l-y like your....... car..."

    I suspect it would work for gay boys too given its rep after Priscilla Queen of the Desert.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2007 • 127 posts Report Reply

  • Sara Noble,

    Also somewhat ironic (or maybe it was a Freudian slip) re Oliver Driver given he might well go down in history as the mutant were-sheep.

    Auckland • Since Nov 2007 • 127 posts Report Reply

  • linger,

    Replying to Robyn waaaay back on page 1:
    messy filing of CDs at the Warehouse is almost certainly deliberate.
    (1) less time spent resorting => less labour cost
    (2) they make more money if you are forced to browse a bit (and possibly pick out several other titles) instead of immediately going to the one title you had on your shopping list and leaving having bought only that.

    (This is the reason that 'bargain' sections in almost any music store are completely un-sorted.)

    Tokyo • Since Apr 2007 • 1944 posts Report Reply

  • samuel walker,

    messy filing of CDs at the Warehouse is almost certainly deliberate. (1) less time spent resorting => less labour cost (2) they make more money if you are forced to browse a bit

    Its not deliberate, they certainly have never asked for any of their stores to do such a thing, apart from the bulk/pallet/super discount lines. They do encourage the music staff to keep the cd section a-z as full and organised as possible (including using items from the bargin stacks), since if someone pops in and looks up John Farnham, for example, they arent too likely to search through the piles of crap to find it.

    However: theWarehouse wage/service proposition effectively makes this impossible to maintain.

    Since Nov 2006 • 203 posts Report Reply

  • linger,

    Samuel: Sure. I didn't mean to imply that the W.H. never sorts their CDs at all.

    However, they are (as Robyn stated) never sorted beyond the first letter of the alphabet. So customers don't need to pick through everything; but they always need to check through all the Fs to be sure of getting their Farnham. And may well leave with Foreigner to boot.

    And sure, that's partly a function of how much the W.H. is willing to pay for labour. (You're saying I got the causation round the wrong way: it should be "less labour cost => less time re-sorting".)

    (... though admittedly, the unsorted "piles of crap" is exactly where you'd be most likely to find Farnham :-)

    Tokyo • Since Apr 2007 • 1944 posts Report Reply

  • samuel walker,

    You're saying I got the causation round the wrong way

    NAH, I'm agreeing that they are NEVER (or close to it) very well filed; but that the reason isn't that they are being exceptionally cunning. It's because they don't have the labour, although it is made easier by their "look cheap" store designs i must admit......



    Im also just realising its not the most exciting of control theories to be worried about :)

    Since Nov 2006 • 203 posts Report Reply

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