Southerly by David Haywood


Special Guest Michael Laws on the Richard Worth Saga

Public Address would like to thank the Sunday Star Times for generously allowing us to publish a preview of Michael Laws's forthcoming weekend column.

* * *

And so the femi-Nazis have finally won. Our prime minister has collapsed like a pricked balloon. The career of Dr Richard Worth, one of the few capable ministers in this government, lies in tatters -- and for no other crime than being from Epsom.

How the PC brigade must be cheering.

Look -- let's get one thing straight -- there can be no doubt in my mind that Richard Worth ever "flashed his schlong" or "drew his pork sword" in front of any of these so-called women. What rubbish.

Has it escaped our prime minister's notice that government agents are paid to spy on all New Zealand families? In the good old days we called them witches, and they were burnt at the stake.

Of course, the PC brigade have put a stop to all that. Now, we are told, they must be called 'Plunket nurses'. It's like living in a Robert Heinlein novel.

I wonder if this was in Dr Worth's mind as he arrived at his desk on Tuesday morning. Minutes later, the giggling John Key -- looking for any excuse -- would destroy a career and a life.

And what of Phil Goff's role in all of this? The Labour Party leader claims to have known "certain details" about a related case.

Garbage. Like many New Zealanders, Dr Worth will be able to remember the days when children were forced to drink milk in schools. By a Labour government.

Let's face it, as far as the hairy-legged lesbians in the Labour Party are concerned, it's a crime to be male. You're no longer safe in your own home.

I am reminded of an acquaintance of mine -- let's call him an acquaintance -- who opened his door to street hawkers. Why should he support an organization that

won't have him as a member? Who can blame him for "introducing them to Mr Johnson"? Why should he buy their stupid biscuits that aren't even chocolate?

We can all guess what happened next. The police and somebody calling herself "Brown Owl" arrived at his doorstep.

Notice how they're always brown? Never mind that -- as Dr Worth surely knows -- sixty per cent of animal life was made extinct before Europeans ever set foot in New Zealand.

Never mind that -- as Mr Goff must have learnt at school -- forty per cent of New Zealand's forests had been destroyed while Abel Tasman was still a boy with his finger in a dyke.

Or perhaps Mr Goff didn't go to school.

And yet with our Plunket nurses, school milk, the 'P' epidemic -- and now the persecution of Dr Worth -- New Zealand has arguably become the most dangerous and crime-ridden nation on earth.

There can be no doubt that PC is alive and well in this country.

Fortunately for us -- and unfortunately for Dr Worth -- New Zealand finally has a prime minister worth his salt. John Key has shown himself to be a strong leader who will not suffer the dictates of the pinkos and the femi-Nazis.

Mr Key has silenced his critics by decisive action. Dr Richard Worth had to go, and -- in the words of Robert Heinlein -- "T'were well it were done quickly".

Please note that this is a work of satire. It is <i.>not a real column by Michael Laws -- however closely it resembles his prose style.

66 responses to this post

First ←Older Page 1 2 3 Newer→ Last