Island Life by David Slack

14

Sound as the pound

Public Address got on the phone yesterday and asked the disgraced World Bank chief Paul Wolfowitz if he could shine some big brain power on the problem of New Zealand's high dollar. The interview began with a little rancour.

Wolfowitz. But it's 3am. Are you insane?

Public Address. Sorry about that, it's just that our Reserve Bank governor has intervened in the market, and we can't help wondering if George Soros and his friends might not be about to get mediaeval on his ass.

W. Oh, well that's different. As you may know, imbalances in the mediaeval money markets were in many ways the precursor to the problems of tyranny in the Ottoman Empire, which

PA. [Interrupting] Yes. We were wondering if the markets might just beat up Alan Bollard like they did Norman Lamont in 1992.

W. Oh yeah, that was spectacular. That guy had balls. He blew 6 billion pounds trying to beat the market. What's this guy Bollard like? Is he staunch? Is he resolute? Do you think he might need some help? I'm between contracts at the moment, you know.

PA. Don't know. To be honest, you might be a bit too much of a zealot for his blood.

W. Zealot? In what way? Who says?

PA. Well some people say that when you were getting the Iraq War on the launching pad you inflated the myth of a dangerous enemy, and that many people died because of it.

W. And your point?

PA. Well, is it possible that you can get obsessed with a theory and end up doing more harm than good?

W. I have no idea what you're talking about. Look, do you have Bollard's number?

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