Hard News by Russell Brown

Opportunity Knockers

Wow, the brawl between Russell Crowe and the weirdly thin Kiwi millionaire Eric Watson is going to be somebody's big break, isn't it?

Surely, Nicky Watson's agent is on the phone to The Sun right now:

"Look, the millionaire bloke who slapped around Russell Crowe? I've got his wife - well, ex-wife really - and she's got blonde hair and big knockers. She's a flaming lingerie model! What am I bid?"

And Francesca Guise, the aspiring Kiwi actress in London, won't be done any harm at all by photographs of her giving the Gladiator some serious verbals. Having appeared on Shortland Street for five seconds, she will doubtless be referred to in the tabloids as a "Kiwi soap star."

But hey, check out my appearance on a Russell Crowe fan site. I don't recall talking to the Australian Women's Weekly either.